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In The Crowd

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Lingua tonsoria

I like to think I'm a good communicator. After all, for years I have made a living off my ability to use words to persuade people. I understand people, and I find it easy to get them to understand and listen to me.

Except hair stylists.

Do you remember the Cone Of Silence from the TV show Get Smart? I'm convinced there's a reason it looked like a giant clear salon hairdryer. It's as if common English words have completely different meanings when speaking to your stylist. Consider this handy chart:

What I sayWhat they hearWhat I mean
I want a changeJust a trim, pleaseI'm bored, surprise me
Something really differentI fear changeNothing is too radical
I like to experiment with itI wear a ponytail sometimesWeird is good
I want longer layers all overNo layersNot a short crop
I was growing it outI'm wishy-washyNo helmet hair
I like the wispy bitsIgnore me, I'm babblingLonger near the ears
I like her hairI wish I were her ageLook! Like THAT!
See, what I'm trying to do...Wah wah, wah wah wah waaahYou are an idiot

Meet the new 'do, same as the old 'do.


  • At 1:09 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  • At 1:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hey not too bad ! Nice blog. I bookmarked it. I have a site Agent Orange mostly about VietNam, heart disease and such. Check it out if you get a chance.

  • At 10:40 AM, Anonymous stan said…

    Dude, when you come to visit me, you are getting a haircut at the Derby. It's not too pricey, and they really listen. You've seen how cute my hair is...

    If I had a blog, it would be, "I'm not interested, so don't bother."

    But really, I'm feeling a bit happier these days.


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